A Quiet Day

So very tired this morning. I couldn't even drag myself out for my usual 7am run. In fact, it is about 3pm right now and I haven't even showered yet. I can't believe that we have only two days left. I wonder what re-entry will feel like. I am still not 100%--this suped up virus I received here in Russia hangs on like the Black Plague.

Life has been non-stop since we got here. Go here, go there, and there, and there, and there. I am not at all used to this pace nor do I care for it. I am an introvert. Though I love the company of friends and meeting new people, my battery doesn't recharge in non-stop noise and constant bussle. Today, I elected to withdraw myself from the planned activities. Not because I am not interested in all that is being accomplished here in Russia--but I have a very acute understanding that I can't get it ALL or do it ALL the first time. My brain is on overload and I know my limits. Today is my limit--I need a break. The quiet this morning has been absolutely GLORIOUS--thank you Lord! I am alone--my battery is on orange--but I feel the green coming. I am stitching because this work is medicine to me. I am processing. I am thinking about all that has been said and done here. My mind wanders wherever it wills--there are no boundaries today--no interruptions. Occasionally I find myself singing.

This has been an incredible trip on so many levels--I am not in the slightest bit capable of articulating much of it either by word or by type. I have been on an emotional roller coaster. The kind of ride that scares the crap out of you--but when you get off you find yourself looking at your friends, panting, wide-eyed, smiling and saying--wanna go again? I don't know what the Lord plans but lets just say--If He wills it--I will!!

Class this week was amazing. We are so blessed to sit under faithful teaching--slavabogo. Can I tell you all something???? I cried only once this week. Only once. Election people--this is the concept that brought tears to my eyes this week. Election. I don't even pretend to fully grasp this part of the Doctrine of Salvation. The bible says it. I believe it. It just hurts to think about sometimes in my human understanding. I need to learn to just hand it up to Him who CARES FOR ME. Maybe this only makes sense in my mind and I guess that's ok. The struggle is for those of us who have people we LOVE who do not know the Lord or are not walking with Him. People we aren't sure of in terms of where they stand on the matter of salvation. It's only LIFE or death hanging in the balance. Yikes. I mean this. Where they will spend eternity hangs in the balance. That weighs on my heart for so many people. The thought of even one person that I love spending eternity in hell sucks the air from my lungs--I pray to God that is not the case. I plead with Him often over them--calling them out to Him by name. Oh friends and family, if you are reading this and you have not yet repented--now is the time. Every single time you resist the truth of the gospel you are hardening your own heart--just like Pharaoh. How many more, God loving you and calling you, opportunities will you decline before God himself ceases to knock at the door of your hard heart (or worse--read Pharaoh's account). I beg you, repent and be reconcilled today! Admit your status--you are a sinner! Understand you can't clean your mess up on your own--you bring nothing but your sin to the table (failure at any level with regards to complete holiness puts you in the class of sinner). Recognize He already provided THE WAY, Jesus Christ (God's only Son) who can (because He lived the perfect life we can't) and did make atonement for you! Ask Him to come into your heart and into your life as SAVIOR AND LORD and begin the process of making you into the person He created you to be! Redeemed--go and tell others the good news.

Romans 3:23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.

Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

1 Corinthians 15:3 For I delivered to you first of all that which I also received: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, and that He was buried, and that He rose again the third day according to the Scriptures...

John 3:16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

If you don't know Him this is my prayer for you all! I don't know anything else of importance, except this, this will matter for eternity. FOR - E - VER. God bless.

Behold, I am coming HOME soon (heeheehee). I can't wait for the cozy Temper pedic bed and pillows. I can't wait for an hour long, smokin hot shower. I can't wait for a BIG salad with all the trimmings. I can't wait for a long stretch of pavement and a new pair of running shoes. I can't wait for a clothes dryer. I can't wait for the quiet of home. I can't wait for a cup of coffee from a Keurig coffee pot doused with Vanilla-Caramel CoffeeMate Creamer (ooohlala) - THANKYOU MIKE and CASIE (I love you both and miss you like CRAZY). I can't wait to stop living out of a suitcase (NICOLE--holy crap, I feel your PAIN--this is no small thing). God has blessed me beyond measure and I am unworthy of it all. Lord, let me live my life in a way that honors YOU. In a way that reveals that I am not the ultimate owner of anything you allow me to possess---but oh GOD, I am so greatful for it all!!!!

Now, I am ready for my RUN!

Love to all! Jen